butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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