she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
You did what with his pubic hair?
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
