They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
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