need another drink. this is the easiest way
Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
