She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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