Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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