my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Randomize
