Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
