new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
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