They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Vodka?
Forever.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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