I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Did I show you my penis last night?
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
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