Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
