do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
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