Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Randomize
