Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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