she takes plan B like it's going out of style
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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