You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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