The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Randomize