Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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