Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
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