I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Randomize
