9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Randomize
