Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
