My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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