I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
