I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
