you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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