I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Randomize
