Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Randomize
