508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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