My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
