We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Damn victory sex feels great
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
