Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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