Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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