I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
