he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
