also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
