I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Randomize