I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
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