So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
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