Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
This house was built for laser tag.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
