She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
