you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Randomize
