you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
