Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
