he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
