That's when you crack a 10am beer
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Randomize
