Got a toothbrush?
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
someone owes me an orgasm
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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