I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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