I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
