In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Randomize
