We got so high we made milksteak
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
