She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
