Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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