its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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