After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
