You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I love having hate sex.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
