He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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