I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
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