I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
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