On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
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