Christians are straight up FREAKS
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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