There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
