We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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