tonight lets celebrate not being married
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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