Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
