love makes seman taste better
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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