still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize