I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
