My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
