So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize