he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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