no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
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